Strained by societal demands and preconceived notions, self-confidence is a delicate balance that can sometimes be difficult to maintain.
High self-expectations, self-blame, physical insecurities… Trying too hard to meet unattainable ideals quickly leads to a lack of self-esteem. Fortunately, according to psychotherapist Isabelle Filliozat (1), self-confidence develops and continuously evolves throughout an individual's life. Self-confidence can therefore be regained.
What if we took advantage of the arrival of spring, a symbol of renewal and rebirth, to break free from our complexes and limiting beliefs?
LACK OF SELF-CONFIDENCE: OUR WORST ENEMY IS OURSELVES
Born from our experiences, successes, and failures, self-confidence also depends on the idealized images we impose on ourselves more or less consciously throughout life. In our society, which is very focused on appearances, this phenomenon is intensified, especially by the distorted image that social media reflect back to us daily.
Whether this reflection relates to physical appearance, professional success, or the role of mother or partner, it confronts us with a vision of ourselves as an unattainable perfection, causing feelings of failure, inadequacy, or even shame.
If you ever feel these kinds of feelings while “scrolling” on Instagram, it’s probably time to clean up your subscriptions. Make sure you only follow inspiring accounts that bring you joy and make you laugh: there’s no shortage of them! And never forget: Instagram is not real life…
TAKING CARE OF YOUR BODY TO REGAIN SELF-CONFIDENCE
Makeup, beauty: a frivolity?
Treating yourself to a spa moment, a manicure, or spending an hour pampering yourself in the bathroom: these practices are often seen as vain and superfluous. Yet, like a superhero’s costume or an artist’s stage makeup, our physical appearance is an armor that allows us to face daily life with confidence.
A chosen reflection of our inner mood, the way we prepare ourselves reveals what we choose to show others, our way of presenting ourselves to the world around us. Having confidence in your appearance is a way to feel stronger: it’s no coincidence that we pay special attention to our outfit when joining a new team or going on a first date.
Taking care of your appearance is above all taking care of yourself. To reconnect with your self-esteem, don’t skip the beauty and wellness step! By the way, spring is the perfect time to renew your skin…
THE IMPORTANCE OF TOUCH TO LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF
To make peace with your appearance, you first need to learn to love your body. When comforting a loved one, we naturally use touch: we hug, hold, kiss. Why should our own body be any different?
Applying a cream, massaging a sore muscle, applying nourishing oil: these are all ways to show love to your body and accept it better.
At the spa or at home, show yourself love: pamper your skin, massage your body, savor the sensuality of a nourishing oil… And don’t forget that taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s essential to be able to take care of those around you.
Interested in this topic? Also check out our article: Learning to be kind to yourself.
5 EXERCISES TO RECONNECT WITH SELF-CONFIDENCE:
1. Identify your comfort zones
It is often said that real life begins where our comfort zone ends… But that zone should not be overlooked. If perfection does not exist, we all have areas where we show ease and talent. It’s important to identify them and be aware of them – these skills serve as a foundation to build your self-confidence and self-love. Have you ever tried listing your 20 best qualities? If that seems too difficult, it means you need this exercise!
2. Identify your limiting beliefs
“I’ll never make it,” “It’s impossible”… To uproot these deeply ingrained ideas, you first need to identify them. Pay close attention to fatalistic or self-deprecating thoughts. Pinpoint these thoughts and dig deeper: where do they come from? Chances are their source is a single event that you generalized. In any case, these beliefs only have the value you give them. It’s up to you to challenge them.
3. Take time for yourself
Every day, make sure to take fifteen minutes for yourself. Yes, just for you. Set aside work, your children, your partner… Early in the morning or in the evening once all the day’s tasks are done, there’s always a free slot. Use this moment of calm to do something gentle for yourself, something outside your daily routine. Why not give yourself a self-massage or try some facial yoga movements?
4. Take stock and list your goals
While taking care of yourself, let your thoughts wander: what is your assessment of the day, the month, or the past period? Step back and try to look at things objectively. What were your successes, and what areas need improvement? Take the opportunity to set some achievable goals that will help you feel good. For example: try mindfulness meditation, drink more water, start walking again… Stay realistic and try to stick to your goal: the sense of accomplishment will be even greater!
5. Congratulate yourself
We tend to focus so much on our flaws, failures, and shortcomings… What if, for once, you tried to focus on your successes? They are definitely there and far more numerous than you think. Savor them, share them with those around you, and try to give them as much importance as your failures. Both are part of life, and by considering them objectively, you will learn to manage them without damaging your self-confidence.
(1) If you want to continue on this quest for self-confidence, this book by Isabelle Filliozat will set you on the path to full confidence.
Trust Yourself – Or How to Be Comfortable in Any Situation, Isabelle Filliozat, JC Lattès publishing.
Do you have other tips to share to boost your self-confidence? Join the Omnisens community on Instagram and on Facebook and feel free to share your experiences with #prendresoindetrebien!
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